Death to the Can Opener
by Chocolate and Drama
Summary: Ashley and Kate are two smart girls. They could bake a pineapple upside down cake without totally making the kitchen go splodey, right? Ha, no! Not ever never! Poor can opener.


" This is a disaster!" Ashley cried, sliding down to sit dejectedly on the floor next to a very mad Kate.

" It's a can opener! It shouldn't be that hard!" Kate yelled, throwing the offending metal object where it hit the wall and landed in a drawer. The girls had been trying to make a birthday cake for Henry, well Kate mostly talked Ashley into doing it, but still. What had been a five-step set of instructions from Big Guy had turned into the biggest disaster ever.

EVER.

Why did Henry's favorite cake pineapple upside-down cake?

Why was the only pineapple they had _canned?_

Why did Big Guy have to be out at the exact moment the can opener decided to be difficult?

The white machine glared evilly at them.

They had already spent about twenty minutes trying to figure out how to do it. No success. They had ruled out the black bit on the side as helping anything, had learned it's best not to try to put the can upside down, unless you want a giant hole in the side made and pineapple juice squirting everywhere, and well....... never trust Wikipedia articles.

Not ever, never , ever, NEVER.

Ashley's eyes still burned. Curse you , curse Kate for pointing out a pineapple without the skin was technically a naked pineapple. That girl was crazy.

But now, that girl was crazy mad.

" Surely at least one time in your life you would have used the can opener!" Kate cried, in a sorrier state then Ashley had ever seen her. Flour coated her hair, pineapple juice made her shoes sticky and her finger tips were covered in band aids. On the upside, they had learned a lot of things. Like just because the knife looks dull, that doesn't mean it actually is, and you shouldn't mess around with knives period.

She picked at her own band-aided fingers.

"Maybe we should kick it." Kate said sourly.

"Maybe we should taser it!" Ashley said, perking up. It actually sounded like a good idea!

"Maybe we should shoot it." Ashley looked at the scowling Indian girl in surprise. Mental note: Kate got trigger happy when mad. Stay one her good side.

That can opener was definitely on her bad side. Poor th-

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"MUAHAHAHA! FACE MY WRATH!"

Well. Shooting it doesn't make it work. Who woulda thunkit?

Should she stop Kate from turning it into a twisted hunk of melting metal? No. She was too tired. Fighting a run-away egg beater was exhausting.

"Umm. Hi."

She looked up. Kate was looking sheepish to Big Guy, who was standing at the door observing the burning wreckage casually.

" Do I want to know?" He grunted.

"No."

He surveyed the rest of the ruined kitchen calmly. Then he reached into his shopping bag and pulled out a store bought pineapple-upside down cake.

"If you warm it up some in the oven- if the oven still works, they won't be able to tell the difference from homemade and store bought."

"Thank you." Kate said weakly, and accepted the cake meekly from the now smiling butler.

" You girls get it set up and i'll clean up and repair this mess. And put a new can opener on the shopping list." He glanced at the twisted burning wreckage.

They nodded and sheepishly filed out. Will stopped them in the hallway.

"Are you two alright?"

"NOTHING!" Kate said, looking like a mad woman.

" Not ever never." Ashley added to the very confused psychiatrist as the girls trudged off the go find a shower and some clothes not totally killed by the egg beaters of doom and destruction.

Egg Beaters. How they had managed to fly out of the kitchen and disappear down the hallway, all because they wouldn't stop spinning, she would never know.

Will was concerned. Kate and Ashley looked like they had been through cooking hell and back. Which, judging by the several eggbeaters stuck to the ceiling, they probably had.

A/N It took me and Sierra twenty minutes, a call to her dad, and some help from her mom, and we still couldn't figure out her can opener. Then- poof. It decided to start working! Sigh.

My interim came home last week! I got a C in Math (which really surprised me because I stink at Math), a B in French and English, and an A in everything else! YAY!


End file.
